Grief is the price we pay for love.

Sherrie Rose ★
7 min readOct 27, 2023

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When we feel love and then face the loss of a loved one, grief is the price we pay for love.*

When we feel love and then face the loss of a loved one, grief is the price we pay for love. This delves into the intricate interplay between the emotions of love and grief, shedding light on the complex nature of human relationships and the emotions that define them. It suggests that when we willingly allow ourselves to open our hearts to love and forge profound, meaningful connections with others, we expose ourselves to an inherent vulnerability. This vulnerability arises from the fact that, at some point, we may be confronted with the agonizing reality of losing those we hold dear.

“Grief” takes on a profound significance. It represents more than just a feeling of sadness or loss; it embodies the deep and often overwhelming sorrow and emotional suffering that can accompany the experience of losing a loved one. Grief is a multifaceted emotional response that encompasses a range of feelings, including sadness, anger, confusion, and longing.

The phrase “grief is the price we pay for love” encapsulates a poignant truth about the human experience. It conveys the notion that the profound joy and fulfillment we derive from loving and being loved come at the potential cost of enduring the intense and often protracted suffering of grief when we inevitably face the loss of someone we hold dear. This isn’t to diminish the beauty of love but rather to acknowledge the dual nature of these emotions. Essentially, it underscores that the positive and enriching experiences of love are intricately tied to the challenging and painful experience of grief when that love is, at some point, taken away from us. In this way, it underscores the depth and complexity of our emotional lives, emphasizing that love and grief are intertwined and inseparable facets of the human condition.

*Grief is the price we pay for love.

You come together today in St Thomas church in New York united in sorrow by the terrible events of last week. Each and every one of us has been shocked and numbed by what we have witnessed in these recent days.

But none of us should doubt the resilience and determination of this great and much-loved city and its people. Men and women from many nations, from many faiths and from many backgrounds were working together in New York City when this unimaginable outrage overtook them all.

At your service today, we think especially of the British victims. For some of them, New York was simply a stopover on some busy travel schedule. For others it was a workplace of excitement and of opportunity. For many it was a familiar second home.

These are dark and harrowing times for families and friends of those who are missing or who suffered in the attack — many of you here today. My thoughts and my prayers are with you all now and in the difficult days ahead.

But nothing that can be said can begin to take away the anguish and the pain of these moments. Grief is the price we pay for love.

The Queen famously said: “Grief is the price we pay for love” as her tribute to 9/11 victims in 2001. The text above are the words of Queen Elizabeth II, read Fri 21 Sep 2001 by the British ambassador to Washington, Sir Christopher Meyer, at the prayer service in St Thomas church, New York after the attacks on the World Trade Center on 9/11 2001.

The Queen’s words were widely used upon the 2021 death of her husband, Prince Philip and again upon the death of the Queen in 2022. “Grief is the price we pay for love’.”

Grief is the price we pay for love

GRIEF.
War.
Shooting deaths.

October 2023.

5,087 people killed
220 hostages abducted
310 IDF soldiers killed

Israel Gaza.
Hamas attack was also strategically shrewd knowing many would die.

All sides experiencing death. And Grief. Massive Grief.

October 2023.

22 people dead and 13 wounded.
Mass shooting.
Two locations.

Lewiston, Maine, USA
Shock, Outrage.
Broken-hearted families filled with grief. Intense Grief.

War and killing: The phrase “grief is the price we pay for love” takes on a somber and thought-provoking dimension. While the original meaning of the phrase focuses on the emotional toll of losing loved ones, in the context of war and killing, it can be interpreted as an acknowledgment of the profound human suffering and societal costs that stem from these actions.

In a wartime setting, “grief” not only pertains to the personal anguish experienced by those who lose loved ones in the conflict but also extends to the collective sorrow of entire communities and nations. The price of “love” here might refer to the deep attachment and loyalty people feel toward their country, cause, or fellow citizens. It’s a love that motivates individuals to fight and protect, often at great personal risk.

When war and killing are the means to achieve certain objectives, there is a significant and painful cost associated with it. This cost encompasses not only the loss of life and the emotional devastation experienced by families and communities but also the broader social, economic, and political consequences of war. It underscores the idea that the pursuit of military objectives, even when motivated by love for one’s nation or cause, can result in immense grief, suffering, and long-term damage to individuals and society as a whole.

The phrase “grief is the price we pay for love” serves as a reminder of the complex ethical and emotional dimensions of war and violence, and it encourages reflection on whether the price paid for pursuing certain objectives through force is worth the grief and suffering it inflicts on individuals and communities. It underscores the importance of seeking peaceful and diplomatic solutions to conflicts whenever possible to avoid the profound costs of war and killing, both on a personal and societal level.

Mass shootings: The phrase “grief is the price we pay for love” takes on a particularly poignant and heart-wrenching significance. Mass shootings are tragic events that result in the loss of innocent lives and cause immeasurable pain and suffering for the victims’ families, friends, and communities.

Here, “grief” refers to the deep and often overwhelming sorrow, anger, and emotional suffering experienced by those affected by the mass shooting. It encompasses the pain of losing loved ones, the trauma of surviving such a traumatic event, and the collective grief of a society deeply affected by the tragedy.

The “love” in this context represents the connections and bonds that exist between individuals, as well as the love and care that family members and friends have for one another. Mass shootings shatter these bonds and relationships, leaving a void of loss and grief in their wake.

The phrase “grief is the price we pay for love” highlights the tragic reality that mass shootings, driven by violence and hatred, extract a devastating toll on love and humanity. It underscores the painful truth that our capacity for love and compassion makes us vulnerable to the profound grief that results from such senseless acts of violence. It serves as a poignant reminder of the need for society to address the complex issues surrounding gun violence and mental health, with the aim of preventing such tragic events and minimizing the “price” of grief that we pay for our capacity to love and care for one another.

If Queen Elizabeth II was alive in October 2023, she might say something like this about “Grief is the price we pay for love”

“Ladies and gentlemen, it deeply saddens me to address you today in the wake of the tragic events unfolding in various parts of the world. The mass shootings in Maine, the Gaza conflict in Israel, and the war in Ukraine have resulted in an enormous loss of life and untold suffering for countless individuals and communities.

Grief is the price we pay for love, and today, we find ourselves painfully paying that price. The pain and sorrow that emanate from these events weigh heavily on our hearts and minds. It is a stark reminder of the profound impact that violence and conflict have on our global community.

During these trying times, let us remember the strength and resilience of the human spirit. Let us offer our support and compassion to those affected, and let us work tirelessly to seek peaceful solutions and a world where such tragic events become a distant memory.

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families, and I implore all nations to work together for a more peaceful and harmonious world. Together, we can strive for a future where love can thrive without the heavy burden of grief.

May peace and unity prevail in these troubled times.”

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Sherrie Rose ★

MastermindChief.com ★ Sherrie Rose helps Leaders craft their MASTERWORK, Shape Legacy, Optimize Assets. ♦ Author ♦ Chief Legacy Officer